November is a traditional time to pause, reflect, and focus on gratitude. For parents raising children with ADHD, ODD, or other behavioral challenges, gratitude can feel like a distant luxury. When every day is filled with power struggles, homework battles, or emotional meltdowns, it’s easy to lose sight of progress.
But gratitude isn’t just about being thankful – it’s a tool. When parents shift their focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right, it helps children build confidence, strengthens family bonds, and reduces stress in the home. At the Parent Management Training Institute, we offer an evidence-based approach to help parents manage challenging behaviors and achieve lasting, positive change.
Gratitude in the Middle of Challenges
Research shows that children thrive when they receive consistent positive reinforcement and encouragement. Dr. Alan Kazdin, creator of the Kazdin Method® of Parent Management Training, emphasized that parents can shape behavior most effectively through praise, reinforcement, and focusing on small wins rather than punishing mistakes.
That means gratitude doesn’t need to be reserved for big moments. It can look like:
- Saying, “Hey I noticed you took your dish to the sink right after dinner. Thank you, honey.”
- “Hey sweetheart. I am really grateful to be your mom.”
- Pausing to notice when siblings play together peacefully – even if it only lasts five minutes.
These small acts of gratitude reinforce the positive behaviors you want to see more often.
How Gratitude Helps Parents Too
Parenting a child with behavioral challenges can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Practicing gratitude is not just for your child – it’s for you. Taking a moment each day to reflect on what is working, what progress your child has made, and what you’re thankful for can:
- Lower stress and burnout.
- Help you feel more hopeful about your child’s future.
- Remind you that progress, even small, is worth celebrating.
For additional ideas, you might find it helpful to explore Harvard Health’s research on gratitude and well-being: Harvard Health – Giving thanks can make you happier.
Practical Tips for Thankful Parenting
- Create a Gratitude Ritual – At dinner or bedtime, share one thing you’re thankful for about your day. Encourage them to do the same.
- Keep a “Wins Journal” – Write down daily successes, no matter how small. Reviewing it later can boost your resilience on harder days.
- Use Praise as a Gratitude Tool – Be specific: “I love how you started your homework on your own – that was very responsible.”
- Model Gratitude – Show your child how you express thanks to others. Modeling is one of the most powerful teaching tools.
- Link Gratitude to Behavior Goals – When you’re practicing Parent Management Training, connect reinforcement to gratitude. For example: “Thank you for putting away your toys. That really helps keep our home calm.”
At PMTI, we train parents and professionals to use the Kazdin Method® to improve cooperation, reduce outbursts, and build positive parent-child relationships. Gratitude is a powerful tool in that process.
FAQs About Thankful Parenting
Q: How can I focus on gratitude when every day feels like a battle?
A: Start small. Look for one positive behavior or small act of progress each day. Over time, your focus will shift from constant conflict to noticing growth.
Q: Won’t praising too much make my child spoiled?
A: No. Research shows that specific, behavior-based praise helps children repeat positive behaviors. It’s not about empty compliments – it’s about reinforcing effort and progress.
Q: How does the Kazdin Method® use gratitude in behavior management?
A: The Kazdin Method® emphasizes positive reinforcement and modeling over punishment. Gratitude and praise are key parts of helping children develop lasting positive behaviors.
Q: Can professionals also be trained in the Kazdin Method®?
A: Yes. At PMTI, we offer training for professionals as well as for parents and caregivers so they can use evidence-based tools to help children with ADHD, ODD, and other challenges.
Focus On Gratitude and Wins
Parenting a child with behavioral challenges is not easy, but it is filled with opportunities to build connection, resilience, and joy. By focusing on gratitude and wins, you not only help your child grow – you help yourself rediscover hope.
At the Parent Management Training Institute (PMTI), we specialize in helping parents and professionals master effective, research-based strategies using the Kazdin Method®. If you’re ready to bring more calm, cooperation, and thankfulness into your family, contact us today to learn more about our training and support.